Are we
raising a ‘NO child’? In the midst of trying to raise a disciplined child, are
we burdening the kids with too much of parental pressure? Read on to understand
why I say this.
I take my child out everyday in the evening, to a nearby park. There, he is set free to play and explore each and every slide and swing - big or small. The kids in the park are of the age group 1-10, are mostly accompanied by their parents and play under their supervision. Usually I am so caught up while playing with my baby that sometimes I tend to lose touch with my surroundings.
But there was this one sentence that caught my attention – “Mom, you say no to everything I want to do”. A kid (around 4 years old) was saying this to his mom with a sad face.
These words spoken by a little child, made me think and rethink. I wondered if I could also fall in the same category. Would my child also grow up to be a kid who feels like a caged bird? And what could be the reason behind a mom saying NO to his kid?
A two-letter word "NO" has become an integral part of our daily lives when we communicate with our kids. At times, I fail to remember when was the last time I said YES to my child. But, here’s the irony – This wasn’t the case when we were growing up, when we were kids.
We played in the mud, dirtied our clothes, broke crockery, threw stuff all over the room, emptied the whole cupboard on the floor just to find the right dress and so much more. We have done all sorts of naughty things!
But now when our kids are doing the very same things we say ‘NO’ to them. Maybe its because we’re scared of them falling ill, scared of them hurting themselves or just for our own convenience. Convenience of not wanting to clear the mess they have made all over.
In the name of bringing up a well-disciplined child, maybe we’re killing their childhood. Rather than building a bond of love and friendship with the kids, we are unknowingly making them move away from us.
We have two choices here-
1. Continue doing what we are doing
2. Letting the kid free to enjoy himself.
Letting the kid free to enjoy his or her childhood is the best gift that we can give to them. Unlike before the kids these days kids are burdened with too many books, assignments and homework. More than studies these days kids have peer pressure to join classes for different extra curricular activities. As they grow up the time that you get to spend with them reduces and they get stuck in the midst of the worldly madness.
As a parent, we need to concentrate not only on the subjective development of a kid but also on the emotional development. Everyday is a challenge for them and they gain the strength and confidence to outshine only if they are emotionally strong. An emotionally strong person is always ready to fight back the odds. This can only happen when a kid is strong within. He is happy and content from inside and knows his parents are with him whereas it is the opposite for the kid who is used to hearing NO.
A kid who is used to hearing NO will not only refrain himself from developing a friendly bond with his parents but also will be in continuous search of someone from outside with whom he can set himself free. In moments of distress he would be shattered.
So the Choice lies on us what kind of child would we want to raise.
I take my child out everyday in the evening, to a nearby park. There, he is set free to play and explore each and every slide and swing - big or small. The kids in the park are of the age group 1-10, are mostly accompanied by their parents and play under their supervision. Usually I am so caught up while playing with my baby that sometimes I tend to lose touch with my surroundings.
But there was this one sentence that caught my attention – “Mom, you say no to everything I want to do”. A kid (around 4 years old) was saying this to his mom with a sad face.
These words spoken by a little child, made me think and rethink. I wondered if I could also fall in the same category. Would my child also grow up to be a kid who feels like a caged bird? And what could be the reason behind a mom saying NO to his kid?
A two-letter word "NO" has become an integral part of our daily lives when we communicate with our kids. At times, I fail to remember when was the last time I said YES to my child. But, here’s the irony – This wasn’t the case when we were growing up, when we were kids.
We played in the mud, dirtied our clothes, broke crockery, threw stuff all over the room, emptied the whole cupboard on the floor just to find the right dress and so much more. We have done all sorts of naughty things!
But now when our kids are doing the very same things we say ‘NO’ to them. Maybe its because we’re scared of them falling ill, scared of them hurting themselves or just for our own convenience. Convenience of not wanting to clear the mess they have made all over.
In the name of bringing up a well-disciplined child, maybe we’re killing their childhood. Rather than building a bond of love and friendship with the kids, we are unknowingly making them move away from us.
We have two choices here-
1. Continue doing what we are doing
2. Letting the kid free to enjoy himself.
Letting the kid free to enjoy his or her childhood is the best gift that we can give to them. Unlike before the kids these days kids are burdened with too many books, assignments and homework. More than studies these days kids have peer pressure to join classes for different extra curricular activities. As they grow up the time that you get to spend with them reduces and they get stuck in the midst of the worldly madness.
As a parent, we need to concentrate not only on the subjective development of a kid but also on the emotional development. Everyday is a challenge for them and they gain the strength and confidence to outshine only if they are emotionally strong. An emotionally strong person is always ready to fight back the odds. This can only happen when a kid is strong within. He is happy and content from inside and knows his parents are with him whereas it is the opposite for the kid who is used to hearing NO.
A kid who is used to hearing NO will not only refrain himself from developing a friendly bond with his parents but also will be in continuous search of someone from outside with whom he can set himself free. In moments of distress he would be shattered.
So the Choice lies on us what kind of child would we want to raise.
1 shouts:
Ruchi said...
I dunno much about motherhood or being a parent as yet but I'm sure its imp. to be a good human being first before taking over any role and to be able to succeed. U are a sensitive, observant and an intelligent person and that's being reflected in your parenting as well. My guess would be that finding a right balance between yes or no is always going to be a challenge for a parent and at the same time lets not underestimate 4 yr olds too these days...they are smart enough to know how to take their parents on a guilt trip. Additionally, the natural fear and protective instinct that comes in this day n age where the world is filled with paedos, molesters and all kinds of bad stuff...u just want to protect your kid. Saying Yes always what made Duryodhana so I guess as an adult take the right decisions, be firm and try not to over analyze...a 4 year old may pout now but will be grateful when hes old enough to understand